Waving goodbye to my old high-pressure, stress-inducing lifestyle, and hello to my Soft Girl Era.
For several months I’d felt a shift happening, which was quite uncomfortable and confusing. As clique as it sounds, I felt like a caterpillar who had entered the chrysalis. I was no longer the caterpillar, yet not quite the butterfly. I was in my metamorphosis where everything I thought I knew was changing.
In this transformative period, I slowly started to notice many of the priorities, values, dreams, and goals I once held no longer felt aligned. I felt quite lost, lacking motivation because my direction was unclear.
Within this period of metamorphosis, I worked though some pretty major stuff. A pattern of shame and fear that has been playing over and over since childhood came to a breaking point. I was forced to take a good look at the role I’d been playing in my own suffering. It was both a cold hard slap in the face and a great epiphany.
All this is to say that while I was disconnecting with a lot of what I used to identify with, I was also healing parts of me that had been hurting for decades.
Finally, after months of healing, change and transformation, I felt something stir deep inside telling me it was time to break out.
My metaphoric wings were weak at first, questioning this new me, feeling out of place and fearful. Yet as time went on, I felt stronger in this form. The doubts began to quiet and excitement aroused at the thought of starting a brand new era of my life.
I may not be all the way out of the woods just yet, but I feel more alive and in love with life than I have in months (if not years).
I needed some way to acknowledge this new energy I felt within me, some way to recognize that I’m not the girl I was before. Then it was clear; I’ve entered my Soft Girl Era.
What is the Soft Girl Era?
The soft girl era can be an aesthetic shift, but it stems form an internal movement toward a more peaceful life, focused on cultivating joy and personal fulfilment.
I experienced it as a coming home. It feels as though I am reconnecting with a part of me that I shut down long ago; perhaps my inner child, perhaps my feminine energy, perhaps both and more.
It’s been a simple, yet profound shift in perspective. In how I see myself and how I experience life.
As someone who had been prone to anxiety and insecurity my entire life, it feels like utter freedom. I’m consciously creating a life where my nervous system can regulate and the walls of fear and shame that I put up around my heart can break down.
I’m allowing myself to be curious again. For so many years I’ve done what I felt I “should” do. Whether it be in how I live my life, or how I run my business. I’ve realized that it’s not only possible to live outside of those confines, but actually necessary if I want to live a life that I’m in love with.
How to Embrace the Soft Girl Era
The Soft Girl Era has no rules. It's about moving toward peace and joy and away from stress and hustle. Let me share with you the biggest shifts I’ve noticed as I’ve settled into this new era of life.
Trade Stress for Peace
The first thing was a massive slowing down in the things that caused me stress. Whether that was feeling pressure from someone else or creating that pressure myself. If something was inducing stress, I either created distance from it, reassessed it, or let it go completely. At first it felt uncomfortable – and then it felt liberating.
I let myself say no to things that no longer felt aligned, I reduced my working hours to avoid overwhelm and burnout, and I stopped guilting myself for not doing things I felt like I “should” be doing – whether in business or in life.
Reconnecting with Nature
Part of my Soft Girl Era is feeling more connected to Mama Earth. I noticed a strong pull to want to be in nature, and live in tune with the natural cycles. I started learning about plants and herbs that held medicinal qualities and filling my medicine cabinet with natural remedies. I was gardening more, and nurturing my house plants.
I began to recognize and really appreciate the connection between cycles in the natural world and cycles within myself. It’s easy to get caught up in the modern day hustle where we expect ourselves to behave like machines. Yet we are from the Earth. We operate on cycles just as the earth does. This meant recognizing that I am not a machine, and can’t expect myself to grow and produce in every season of life.
Tap into Your Divine Feminine
Suddenly nurturing myself became so important. As I began to slow down, it became glaringly obvious that my health and close relationships were the most important things in my life. I began finding new ways to spend time with my kids.
I began cooking meals from scratch (who am I??) I began fueling my body with foods rich in nutrients, and prioritizing health over convenience. I became a tea drinker (didn’t see that one coming!) and added my at home workouts back into my schedule.
Place Joy over Productivity
In putting joy over productivity, I’ve been spending much of my spare time delving into hobbies -both new and old. Reading fictional books was the first shift, which I haven’t done since I was a teenager, the past 8 years of reading have been non-fiction which is great, but not FUN. I read a few witchy books that really got my creative juices flowing.
I’ve returned to my lifelong love of writing which is not only a creative outlet but also such a passion for me. I’ve also taught myself to crochet and already made hats, tote bags and pumpkin décor. It’s all about leaning into the things that bring me personal fulfillment, even if they aren’t a productive use of my time.
This shift has manifested in different areas of my life but the theme is clear: less of what feels like a burden and more of what fuels my soul.
We are not one-dimensional beings. We are not robots (much to the dismay of our culture) We cannot be sustained by ignoring parts of us that crave nourishment, joy, personal fulfillment, and peace.
I realized that I had created a lifestyle that prioritized productivity and material success. Although I certainly achieved what I was after, it came at a cost; anxiety that never really went away, a creeping dissatisfaction with life, an emptiness deep inside. The result of an unbalanced life.
I now crave space, freedom, and joy. I am helping my body to feel safe and at ease and beginning to rewrite the stories of fear and shame that lie deep in my subconscious. Much of this shift has been so healing to my nervous system and has brought so much more vitality into my life.
If you take one thing from my experience let it be this: joy and personal fulfilment are not optional. They are a crucial piece of your existence. If you ignore these parts of you for too long, you can expect a full breakdown and crumbling to follow.
If this resonates, I’d love to hear about it. Leave me a comment or share this with a friend going through it too.