Do you have people in your life that are “toxic”. It’s a pretty harsh word to describe a person, I personally haven’t met someone I would give such a label. I like to think that all people are good, but act a certain way, but those actions are not that person.
I’ve read a lot of self-help books and I’ve noticed a trend: they all seem to say that if you have negative or “toxic” people in your life, you should cut them out.
When I first read this I though yeah, I would love to cut out all the negative people, that would make me so much happier! But then I realized that, for me at least, that just isn’t possible and I would be willing to be that it’s not possible for you either.
It’s because we all know people that we love or that are part of our lives that are negative sometimes (or more often than not) and to be honest, I’m sure we’ve all been that person too at times. If we abandoned someone every time they were negative, we would have to isolate ourselves on some desert island…
If there are people in your life that are exceptionally negative, manipulative or nasty, and you feel like you can just cut the ties with them, then by all mean, please do. But for the rest of the people in your life that you’d prefer to keep in your life, I have a different technique.
But first we need to get familiar with the frequencies. You’ve probably seen or heard people talking about raising your vibes, or “good vibes only”, and what they’re referring to are the frequencies of our thoughts.
Everything on this earth and in this universe is vibrating at different frequencies. Your coffee mug, your couch, your dog, you, and even your thoughts.
The highest vibration is that of unconditional love and gratitude. From there, the frequencies decrease until you reach the bottom which is hate, the lowest vibration.
Resist Meeting Them at Their Level
The thing about people in low frequencies is that even though they probably want to come out of it, the will resist if you come in on your high vibe, making life look so wonderful.
Misery loves company. That’s why most of the time when someone on a high vibe comes around someone on a low vibe, they tend to bring themselves down to that lower frequency because being so high when they are so low can be uncomfortable.
Bringing yourself down takes no effort and no thought, you just do it instinctively, but it’s the worst thing you could do. Your feeling that low vibe, and even worse, you’re bringing yourself down to a place that limits your potential. How often have you had a groundbreaking idea when you were in a low vibe? How often have you had amazing things come into your life when you were in a low vibe? Probably never.
If you want to attract amazing things, people and experiences, you need to avoid going into those low vibe states.
So, if you want to avoid coming down, those low vibe people resist coming up, and you don’t want to just cut ties with them, what do you do?
Just Keep Vibin' High
The answer is be an example to them. Be a source of light and inspire them to join you on the higher frequency. The best thing to do is to be understanding of their state, then offer to support them if they need someone to lean on.
For example you could say: “Hey, I totally get why that would bother you, it would probably bother me too. In fact, things like that used to bother me all the time, but now I just try to let them roll off my back. You’re a good friend of mine and I’ll be here for you no matter what.”
Then lead by example. Continue to keep vibing on that high frequency.
Remember: They Don't Want Solutions
Don’t offer solutions, don’t keep poking them until they surrender their negativity –it doesn’t work like that. The best way to get someone out of a low vibe is to give them love, but not to tolerate that negative energy.
And if you’ve given them understanding and love and they still insist on trying to pull you down with them, then you can try changing the subject to something that would be more uplifting or you can be more blunt about it and say, “I know that it’s hard to let these kinds of things go and I get it if you need more time, but we can all choose at any time to step out of the negativity and I’d like to choose that now. Besides, you have so much to be grateful for.” Then end the conversation if you have to.
People that have been living in a negative state for so long will probably need more time to come out of it. Even people who haven’t been there for that long will most likely not just snap out of it. People are visual learners. They will watch you being positive and they will start to model your behavior.
So your best bet with negative people in your life is to give them love, support, and understanding, but be stern about not joining them on their level. And remember to have patience.